Losing at Chicken

Last week my husband and I decided to have ourselves a stay-cation since we had a babysitter gap.  The original plan was to leave bottles of milk and bowls of food out for the B while we went to work.  In the end we determined that the mess we would find when we got home and the potential of having to get her back from child protective services convinced us to stay home.  We looked at her, she stared us down, and we flinched. Score Me=0, B=1.  Besides, I had a good list of things I wanted to get done.  At least that's what I told myself.

1. Finish the B's activity table and chair
2. Finish the coffee table
3. Build our king sized bed
4. Build a step stool for a 2nd birthday present for a friend's kid
5. Build a step stool for the B
6. Potty train the B with the 3 day potty training guide
7. Hang photos on the wall
8. Clean the moving boxes out of the guest room

Take a wild guess at how many items I was actually able to check of the list.  3 out of 8 isn't bad, right?

Coffee table trundle, pre-clutter.

Activity table and chair in action.  My friend said that the B I painted looks like boobs.



Step stool in it's native environment.  It's like it grew from the hydrangeas. 

I could probably come up with lots of reasons/excuses why the rest of the list didn't get done.  The real reason is that I'm a lazy bum and a coward.  This brings me to Game of Chicken, the rematch.  Not satisfied with the loss, I embarked on the effort to start talking to the B about potty training.  Every time I talked to her about it, just sending messages that using the potty is fun and a big girl thing to do, her reaction was to throw a screaming-diva-fit.  What can I say?  The kid likes pooping in her diaper.  The guide does say to try it at 22 months.  So we have 1 more month.  Again, this is how I make myself feel better.  Score Me=0, B=2.

Final nail was when I broke down and bought the B a scooter.  She's been chasing after kids at the park on these death traps for months.  Some kids and their parents are nice and let her stand on it for a little before the babysitter pulls her off of it in tears (B's tears, not the babysitter).  Or they don't let her near it and it all ends in tears.  (Still the Bs)  It's no surprise that she loves her new wheels.  It was a surprise that with a choice between a helmet with colorful cartoon characters on it, and this Harley Davidson helmet, she choses to ride on the dangerous side.  I'm worried about what the future may bring....  biker boyfriends? 

Also here's evidence that she is a Daddy's girl.


Result of Daddy saying, "Smile for Daddy."

Result of Mama saying, "Smile, sweetie."

I think that I've got lots of chicken games to lose in the future.

Butchering Idioms and Culture Loss

Why oh why are Fartleks so darn hard?  It's supposed to be speed "play", but really, it's just torture.  It's hard to say why I keep trying them.  My theory is that I really hate myself.  Also, I found that it does make me faster.  So, no pain no gain, or something like that. 

The fun thing about being a child of parents who speak English as a second language is that you get to learn all the fun idioms later in life.  Then you have the capacity to really savor the literary magic that they are, Ha!
It's also humorous to listen to my mom butcher them. 

1. Kill a Horse (Beat a Dead Horse)
2. If It's Pouring, It Rains (When It Rains, It Pours)
3. Hammered the Nail (Hit the Nail on the Head)

Most of the time I haven't the heart to correct her.  Largely because she won't remember next time anyway, and also because I know what she is trying to say.  To her credit, some of them ie, cat got your tongue, are just plain weird.  Also, my mom knows a shit ton of idioms in Chinese.  Not to bag the English idioms, Chinese sayings are actually beautiful.  The majority of them are only 4 words long, rhyme, and have elaborate stories that go along with them.  They are supposed to save time by conveying a complex message quickly, but it takes longer for me because she has to stop to tell me the story.  It doesn't help that the Chinese people have a long history to draw stories from. 

It saddens me a little that the B will get such a diluted version of the Chinese culture.  Amongst many other things, she probably won't experience:

1. Praying to ancestors using incense and bowing
2. Folding paper boats to burn for ancestors
3. The anticipation of red envelopes for Chinese New Year
4. Having moon cake for the moon festival because I'm terrible with dates and always forget

Growing up my Chinese friends and I would joke that we are like bananas, yellow on the outside and white on the inside.  Since the B is only half Chinese, I'm not even sure what she'll resemble.  Is there such thing as an albino banana?  She's a good mix I suppose, she doesn't enjoy noodles but she sure does love her rice.

At any rate, I'm making the resolution to speak more Chinese to her.  Even though she does look at me strangely when I try.

Hmmm, I don't know if I like the sound of this...

Reasons to Smile

This weekend was probably the best 2 days I've had since Christmas.  I got a lot done and had a great time.

1.  First it was making orange "cups" to encourage the B to get more fiber into her diet.  She's been making little poop pellets lately.  My dad used to make these little orange treats for us when we had dinner guests. 

Wouldn't you have rather seen pictures of her rabbit poo?  Sorry to disappoint.

She's leaving me unsupervised with a toothpick, this is SO much fun!

2.  My wonderful husband let me run amok with his tools and build this activity table and chair for the B.  (I followed Ana White's plans.)  I cut and assembled the boards.  He helped me set up the miter saw for a double bevel after I used up all my 2x2s for the legs because I forgot the second bevel.  Before that, Jason also rushed to the store to get me more wood.  He also served as my custom-clamp-guy and my table-saw-guy.  Table saws freak me out.  I don't think I'll ever learn how to use one.  At the end of each cutting session, Jason counted my fingers to make sure I still had 10.  And where was the B for all of this you ask?  That's where the best part of this weekend happened.  Jason spent the whole weekend entertaining the B so that I could play! 

3.  Last but certainly not least, I broke my 20 year PR for distance of 10 miles.  I ran 10.77 miles in 1:41:39.  Very very exciting for me!  I feel proud considering I was running 3 miles @ 12 min/mi just 6 months ago.  What I wasn't super proud of was jacking the B's water bottle for the run because I don't have one I can easily hold.  I love my Nalgene for hiking but it would be like carrying a copy of A Dance With Dragons on a run.  Good thing she was still sleeping when I left so she couldn't protest.  Her new favorite word is MINE, said emphatically and loudly.  



Gloating at my PR and water bottle jacking skills.

So what did I learn on my run?

1. Fueling mid run is going to take practice.  I had too much water with the bloc chew and gave myself a pretty bad stomach cramp for miles 7 and 8.
2. I need an arm band for my phone because shoving it down my pants messes up the GPS.  During mile 6 while I was refueling, I accidentally shut off the GPS app and had to restart it.  After that, it kept saying my pace was 10:30 but I thought that I was going faster.  But then I thought, maybe I really am going that slow, so I sped up and it said I was going 10:45.  I restarted the app again and it sure enough, my pace was 8:30.  Oddly enough, the summary was correct in spite of the issues.  Which brings me to . . .
3. I can run faster.  I'm afraid of getting too tired to finish, but I really can go a little faster without dying.
4. Running in pants = no chaffing.  I guess I'm going to have to hope that the race isn't hot so I can wear my pants to run.

All the Money in the World

If you were to have asked me 1 hour ago what I would do with all the money in the world, I would not have replied with meaningful ideas like solving world hunger or world peace.  I would had said something like, get the fat sucked out of my inner thighs so they can't rub anymore.  But uttered in more colorful language. 

Turns out, once the chafing starts, it does not stop.  I only had a 4 mile run this morning and I wanted to kick the first squirrel I saw.  Fortunately for squirrels, they don't live on a rubber tracks.  Here are some fun facts about chafing:

1. It hurts, a lot
2. Even if it doesn't bleed, the top layers of your skin separate from the other layers, gross
3. Chaffing spots scab.  WTF?
4. It feels like someone is scouring your tender spot with steel wool when you shower
5. You walk like a crab for the rest of the day, and coworkers will ask if something is wrong with you

If you remember my comment in the last post about shortless running, this is the picture I should have had.  I saw this in a Lulu ad.  Yes, I am a Lulu addict.  I blame the yoga.

I'm hoping that all the chafing and scabbing will make my inner thighs tougher.  I'll be Lady Lizzard Legs.

Or this super creepy character.

The Chafing, Oh the Chafting!

I'm finally able to keep up with my training schedule. Largely due to:

1. Icing my shins every friggin night and foam rolling whenever I remember  
2. The fear of disappointment beaten into me at a young age. Nothing makes me more ashamed than disappointing.
3. Finally, it just feels good to run. Except when it doesn't.

Perfect example of #3 was Sunday, I was completely let down by my favorite shorts. Holy chafing! It started hurting around mile 7, but since I only had 1 more mile to go, I just ran through it.  All the while, checking every half mile for bleeding.   In order to get the shorts off as fast as possible, I ran home instead of walking while seriously considering if I would get arrested for running without my shorts.  Unfortunately, the shorts are one of those built-in-underwear types.  So it would have been half streaking?  On they stayed.  You can thank me for not taking naked pictures later.  In the end, 9.1 miles with the last 2 miles in chafing hell.

The rest of the weekend was full of woodworking.  I used a miter saw for the first time (the husband gave me instructions and pretended not to supervise while he hovered nearby).  Even the B "helped". 

Look Mama, I can sand with my eyes closed!

The B got all bent out of shape because we would not let her draw on the table.  She became especially whiny when she saw that Daddy was allowed to.

You two are such hypocrites.

We got the plans from http://www.ana-white.com/.  All her plans are free and super clear.  The doll bed was one of her plans as well.  The best part of the coffee table is that it is a trundle and the whole bottom piece is one big box on wheels to stuff all of the B's toys into.  At the end the table is supposed to look like this:

The 20 Second Tidy Up

The B's Vocab Update: Her new favorite words are:

1. Butt
2. Bite
3. Noooooohhh, No NO No No No

Options and Milestones

There are many reasons I love my husband.  Usually his sense of humor doesn't make it to top 10 on the I-love-you-because list.  His humor is usually the kind that you don't really get, and once it's explained, it's more of an eye roller.  Today however, I busted out during the lull of a meeting and everybody stopped to stare.  I feel I just have to share the email below.

So we have a slight problem.   We're going to have 4 days without a sitter.


Option 1: I take that week off as vacation
Option 2: you take those 4 days as vacation ( I think that Friday is your 9/80)
Option 3: we try out that sitter city service
Option 4: we take a trip somewhere like the grand canyon, Minnesota/south Dakota, or northern California.
Option 5: we leave out a bowl of food and loop sesame street on the tv


Thoughts?

I vote for Option 5.  Although she has been a lot more fun to be around these past few weeks.  You can actually see her learning and she's mimicking words and gestures.

B's Vocabulary at 19M:

1. Animal Noises (Mooooo(cow), aaaaah(sheep), squeak(duck, chicken, pig)
2. Mama/Dada
3. Uuupah(up)
4. Baaaaa(bug)
5. Dowwww(down)
6. Baba(Bonnie)
7. Shoooo(shoes)
8. Nooohhh(no)

This brings me to midyear milestones.

Milestone #1: Words
The biggest milestone for all of us is that the B is starting to use words instead of screaming.  Don't get me wrong, there is still screaming.  A lot of screaming.  I feel bad for our neighbors.

Milestone #2: Battle Stories
Another big milestone this week was the B's first battle wound from a playground bar fight.  A boy about 5 years old came up to the B and bit her in the belly.  According to the sitter, the mom was on her cell and when she was told what happened she was only offhandedly apologetic.  If I were there I would have ripped her a new one.

Battle Scar #1

Milestone #3: Bloodless Watermelon Fruit Basket

For the midweek 4th of July we went to a BBQ at a friend's house.  It felt so strange for both my husband and I because we only got Wednesday off.  At any rate it was my task to bring the fruit salad and wine.  The conversation with the husband went well.

Jason: What are we doing for the 4th of July

Me: We're going to a BBQ and I have to bring fruit salad and wine.

Jason: Great idea, what are you going to do about the fruit salad

Me: I'm going to carve a watermelon basket.

Jason: . . . . . that's not a good idea . . .

Me: Why not?

Jason: You and a knife, really?  It's not a good idea.

My husband has such faith in me.  To be fair, as many times as I've run to him with a bloody hand, I'm lucky to have all my fingers.  Luckily, we were able to have a tasty fruit salad.





Mama did such a good job carving, Daddy has no idea what he's talking about.

Do you think they'll notice if I sneak a blueberry?

mmmmm stolen berries are the best!

Milestone#4: Catching Up With Technology

I've finally discovered Instagram!