Personality Disorder

I think the B has a split personality.  The behavior is usually dependent on the environment.  I say usually because it can be pretty random.  I've seen her laugh and wail in the same breath.  Perhaps it's just a toddler thing, but I'm not around a ton of other kids so I don't really have a ruler against which to measure her.  However, there was this adorable girl at the MyGym that would lay flat on her back and cry when someone tried to share a toy with her.  There was no flailing or kicking, just lying very still with her arms at her sides and wailing.  It was so cute because she wasn't mine. 

Given the above disclaimers, her personality traits can be separated into at-home personality and out-of-the-house personality.  (I'd call the The Zoo Incident an outlier.)

Some defining at-home characteristics include:

1. Demanding (Bring me my milk NOW, wench!)
2. Adventurous (Can I use this step stool to climb onto the edge of the bar stool to the table? I don't know, but I'm going to try.)
3. Vocal (by this I mean adamant grunting) 
4. Violent (I'll cut you with my sharp finger nails if you don't surrender your iphone immediately)
5. Opinionated (This is NOT the time for a nap, nor do I want to eat any of that crap you give me!)

There is not nearly enough avocado for this face mask. 
Bring me more avocado!  You're not getting a tip.

Some defining out-of-the-house characteristics:

1. Gentle (That kid just took my ball... Where's he going with my ball?  Oh well.  Look, delicious sand!)
2. Smiley (Everybody loves me, heehee)
3. Shy (I'm going to hide inbetween your legs until this person stops looking at me)
4. Quiet (I'd rather watch)
5. Affectionate (Would you like a hug?  I'd like to give you one.) 

Look Mama, I found a leaf just for you!

I'm told that kids take after their parents.  If that is true, either my husband or I must be a psychopath.  Be careful what you say in the comments, I may cut you.