Butchering Idioms and Culture Loss

Why oh why are Fartleks so darn hard?  It's supposed to be speed "play", but really, it's just torture.  It's hard to say why I keep trying them.  My theory is that I really hate myself.  Also, I found that it does make me faster.  So, no pain no gain, or something like that. 

The fun thing about being a child of parents who speak English as a second language is that you get to learn all the fun idioms later in life.  Then you have the capacity to really savor the literary magic that they are, Ha!
It's also humorous to listen to my mom butcher them. 

1. Kill a Horse (Beat a Dead Horse)
2. If It's Pouring, It Rains (When It Rains, It Pours)
3. Hammered the Nail (Hit the Nail on the Head)

Most of the time I haven't the heart to correct her.  Largely because she won't remember next time anyway, and also because I know what she is trying to say.  To her credit, some of them ie, cat got your tongue, are just plain weird.  Also, my mom knows a shit ton of idioms in Chinese.  Not to bag the English idioms, Chinese sayings are actually beautiful.  The majority of them are only 4 words long, rhyme, and have elaborate stories that go along with them.  They are supposed to save time by conveying a complex message quickly, but it takes longer for me because she has to stop to tell me the story.  It doesn't help that the Chinese people have a long history to draw stories from. 

It saddens me a little that the B will get such a diluted version of the Chinese culture.  Amongst many other things, she probably won't experience:

1. Praying to ancestors using incense and bowing
2. Folding paper boats to burn for ancestors
3. The anticipation of red envelopes for Chinese New Year
4. Having moon cake for the moon festival because I'm terrible with dates and always forget

Growing up my Chinese friends and I would joke that we are like bananas, yellow on the outside and white on the inside.  Since the B is only half Chinese, I'm not even sure what she'll resemble.  Is there such thing as an albino banana?  She's a good mix I suppose, she doesn't enjoy noodles but she sure does love her rice.

At any rate, I'm making the resolution to speak more Chinese to her.  Even though she does look at me strangely when I try.

Hmmm, I don't know if I like the sound of this...

Reasons to Smile

This weekend was probably the best 2 days I've had since Christmas.  I got a lot done and had a great time.

1.  First it was making orange "cups" to encourage the B to get more fiber into her diet.  She's been making little poop pellets lately.  My dad used to make these little orange treats for us when we had dinner guests. 

Wouldn't you have rather seen pictures of her rabbit poo?  Sorry to disappoint.

She's leaving me unsupervised with a toothpick, this is SO much fun!

2.  My wonderful husband let me run amok with his tools and build this activity table and chair for the B.  (I followed Ana White's plans.)  I cut and assembled the boards.  He helped me set up the miter saw for a double bevel after I used up all my 2x2s for the legs because I forgot the second bevel.  Before that, Jason also rushed to the store to get me more wood.  He also served as my custom-clamp-guy and my table-saw-guy.  Table saws freak me out.  I don't think I'll ever learn how to use one.  At the end of each cutting session, Jason counted my fingers to make sure I still had 10.  And where was the B for all of this you ask?  That's where the best part of this weekend happened.  Jason spent the whole weekend entertaining the B so that I could play! 

3.  Last but certainly not least, I broke my 20 year PR for distance of 10 miles.  I ran 10.77 miles in 1:41:39.  Very very exciting for me!  I feel proud considering I was running 3 miles @ 12 min/mi just 6 months ago.  What I wasn't super proud of was jacking the B's water bottle for the run because I don't have one I can easily hold.  I love my Nalgene for hiking but it would be like carrying a copy of A Dance With Dragons on a run.  Good thing she was still sleeping when I left so she couldn't protest.  Her new favorite word is MINE, said emphatically and loudly.  



Gloating at my PR and water bottle jacking skills.

So what did I learn on my run?

1. Fueling mid run is going to take practice.  I had too much water with the bloc chew and gave myself a pretty bad stomach cramp for miles 7 and 8.
2. I need an arm band for my phone because shoving it down my pants messes up the GPS.  During mile 6 while I was refueling, I accidentally shut off the GPS app and had to restart it.  After that, it kept saying my pace was 10:30 but I thought that I was going faster.  But then I thought, maybe I really am going that slow, so I sped up and it said I was going 10:45.  I restarted the app again and it sure enough, my pace was 8:30.  Oddly enough, the summary was correct in spite of the issues.  Which brings me to . . .
3. I can run faster.  I'm afraid of getting too tired to finish, but I really can go a little faster without dying.
4. Running in pants = no chaffing.  I guess I'm going to have to hope that the race isn't hot so I can wear my pants to run.

All the Money in the World

If you were to have asked me 1 hour ago what I would do with all the money in the world, I would not have replied with meaningful ideas like solving world hunger or world peace.  I would had said something like, get the fat sucked out of my inner thighs so they can't rub anymore.  But uttered in more colorful language. 

Turns out, once the chafing starts, it does not stop.  I only had a 4 mile run this morning and I wanted to kick the first squirrel I saw.  Fortunately for squirrels, they don't live on a rubber tracks.  Here are some fun facts about chafing:

1. It hurts, a lot
2. Even if it doesn't bleed, the top layers of your skin separate from the other layers, gross
3. Chaffing spots scab.  WTF?
4. It feels like someone is scouring your tender spot with steel wool when you shower
5. You walk like a crab for the rest of the day, and coworkers will ask if something is wrong with you

If you remember my comment in the last post about shortless running, this is the picture I should have had.  I saw this in a Lulu ad.  Yes, I am a Lulu addict.  I blame the yoga.

I'm hoping that all the chafing and scabbing will make my inner thighs tougher.  I'll be Lady Lizzard Legs.

Or this super creepy character.